NARUTO'S WEEK OFF!
by xXKanjiMonkeyXx
Summary: What will naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Lee, Neji, Ten Ten, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro do on their week off? lets Find Out!
1. Introduction

It is a cold and really sad day. The third Hokage is dead and its all Konahamaru...I mean Orochimaru's fault. But there is one thing hokage left behind...no not Twinkies, organizing pointless missions for all the Genin to do!

Kakashi arrived at hokage's office and sat down in a chair. The day before, hokage had promised to discuss Naruto's...um..._problem_ and eat lunch with him. What Kakashi didn't know, was that Hokage was dead, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Kakashi had been waiting for thirty minutes and decided that hokage had totally rejected him when Iruka came in there with a sad face. "Um...Kakashi...why didn't you show up at hokage's funeral?" He asked.

He looked puzzled. "Funeral?" he asked.

Iruka stood there open mouthed. "What funeral? WHAT FUNERAL? KAKASHI, YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT THE THIRD HOKAGE IS DEAD?!!?"

Kakshi had his eyes wide open (he may have had his mouth open too, cant tell because of that stupid mask he wears) "o...m...g..."

"I know." Iruka said. "Terrible, huh?"

"no its not that..." he said. "Its just...now that he's gone...WHOS GONNA GIVE NARUTO SASUKE AND SAKURA RETADED MISSIONS NOW?"

Just then, every single sensei in the hidden leaf gathered in the office. They all shouted, "YEAH, WHAT NONSENCICAL MISSIONS ARE ALL OF OUR APPRENTICES GETTING NOW THAT HE'S DEAD?!?!?"

"wow." Said Iruka, speechless. "Okay, I know how to settle this. Lets give all of our apprentices the week off! That will give us time to get a new, even better Hokage!"

"I could've thought of that!" Thought Kakashi.

So all of the sensei went to tell their apprentices that they had the week off. What a certain team didn't know, was that this week of would lead to adventure! Not and adventure as in carrying on through the fire and brimstone and working together to overcome a foe, I mean Nonsense portrayed in a fan fiction!

**_NARUTO'S WEEK OFF!!!_**


	2. Chapter 1: Naruto And Sasuke!

**_CHAPTER 1!!!_**

**_NARUTO AND SASUKE!!!_**

"Hmm..." Naruto thought as he looked around his house for something to do on his week off. "Hmm...What to do, what to do...I know! I'll read my Email!"

Sasuke then barged into his house for no reason. " Hey, Naruto." he said. "What are you doing for your week off?"

"Oh. Hey Sasuke." Naruto said bummed out. "Just reading my Email."

Sasuke smiled. "That sounds fun. Believe it!"

Naruto stood there open mouthed. Sasuke, the guy Naruto wanted to be like so much, had just stole Naruto's beloved catchphrase. "Oh god!" Sasuke screamed. "It wont happen again Naruto, I promise!"

"okay..." Naruto said. "anyway, on to my first Email..."

Naruto... You rock!!!!!!!!!!!111 I cant wait until shipuden when you and sasuke fight!!!!!!!11 sasuke is so stoopid! I just wanna rip his heart out and feed it to the dog! Maybe I shouldn't because then my dog will turn stoopid! You better know it!!!!!!!!11111

xXYaoiluvva12345Xx

"It's 'Believe It'." Naruto said. Sasuke was sitting right next to him with fire in his eyes and smoke coming out of his ears. "And thanks for the email, xXYaoiluvva12345Xx. Your words have touched both me and Sasuke."

"Well, at least it wasn't an ad for a Yaoi fanfic." Sasuke said starting to calm down.

"Yeah." Naruto agreed. "On to the next email!"

GO CHICKENS!  
Forward this to three other people and you'll get a FREE chicken!

"Oh...My...God..." Naruto gasped.

"I know!" Sasuke said. "These things are annoying!"

"I COULD WIN A CHICKEN!!!" Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs. He then forwarded the message to three of his friends. A couple seconds later a chicken appeared in his arms. "I got a chicken! I shall call you, Clucky!"

Sasuke, however, was not amused. "Just go to the next email."

Naruto opened the next message and a video appeared in the message box. Naruto pressed play, and the video showed a white car going by in a field.

"Umm...Okay..." Naruto said, puzzled.

"hmmm..." sasuke thought. "I think I've seen this before...I just cant put my finger on what happens...OH MY GOD! NARUTO, CLOSE IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

Naruto didn't get a chance too, because just then, A zombie type thing appeared on the screen and screamed a blood curdling scream. Sasuke ran out of the house screaming louder than the zombie did. "Sasuke, Wait!" Naruto called. "Well, at least I have a week to get that out of my...wait...something's different about my arms...OH NO!!! I LOST CLUCKY!!!"

**_END!!!_**


	3. Chapter 2: Sakura and Ino!

At the town center...

Sakura is fighting with Ino... Ya Know, The Usual Stuff...

Sakura: Nah-Uh! Sasuke's hot for me!

Ino: Yeah right! Pink haired girls suxxors! Blondies are all the rage now!

Sakura: Like sasuke would like a dumb, ditzy, slutty blond!

Ino: Gasp I am _NOT_ Slutty!!!

Sakura & Ino: untranslatable agrguing and screaming

Just then, Sasuke came running down the town center, apparently screaming about a zombie scaring him on the computer.

Sasuke: AHHHH!!!! ITS GONNA KILL ME!!!

Sakura: AHHH! MY SASUKE'S INSANE!!!!!

Ino: Ah, shut up, Sakura. He probably just saw the Ghostly Car Ad. It's gotten everyone sometime in your life if you have a computer and an internet connection.

Naruto walked up to Sakura...

Naruto: Hiya, Sakura-Chan! Hey, have you seen clucky?

Sakura: Um... Clucky?

Naruto: Yeah, I did a chain letter, and I won a chicken and named it clucky.

Sakura: Oh.

Naruto: So have you seen him or not?

Sakura: Uhh... points to the left He went that way.

Naruto: IM COMING CLUCKY!!!

Naruto ran to the left.

Ino: Well That was a waste of time.

Sakura: Your right. Now then...

Ino & Sakura: Annother untranslatable argument

AUTHOR'S

NOTE

Sorry about the long wait. I'm gonna keep the ol' Naruto's week off going. Expect a chapter... I'll say... every two weeks. I'm still trying to decide where I want The next few chapters to go. But remember, your not going to have to wait annother three months for a chapter to come out.

-Mai-Kun (kanjimonkey)


	4. Chapter 3: Neji, Lee, and Ten Ten!

_**NEJI, LEE, AND TEN TEN.**_

Lee, Neji, and Ten Ten are sitting around the training forest waiting for Guy.

Lee: When's Sensei gonna get here?

Neji: Possibly, when he feels it is necessary to see us. It's likely that know is not the time.

Ten Ten: You smart, Neji!!! Me love smart Neji!!!

Neji: ...um...okay...

Just then, Sasuke came running through the rocks of the training forest. Again, screaming something about zombies, white cars, and balogna.

Lee: ...Okay, he's been running for, like, five months now. when is Mai-Kun gonna stop with that?

Mai-Kun: Because that's practicaly what I did when I saw it for the first time. Ran around screaming for around five months. SO SHUT UP YOU DISGRACE.

Lee Snifelled.

Lee: That hurt...

Neji: Ya know, that Ghostly car ad wasnt even a screamer, It's an ad for a german energy drink (K-Fee).

Lee: Realy? I can see why it would be an ad for an energy drink... It would scare the crap out of people here in Konaha... Good thing they never aired it here.

Neji: Yeah, and the end tag (in german) was, "You've never been _so_ awake," or something like that.

Ten Ten: You have ever seen Salad Fingers? TAHT SCAREED TEH CRAP OUTAH MEEEEEEEE!!!

Lee: Ten Ten, dont even talk. You're a disgrace to our squad..

Ten Ten: But I-

Lee & Neji: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ten Ten: MEANIES!!!

Ten Ten then began to have a temper tantrum. She banged her fists on the ground, she shreiked even louder than the K-Fee zombie, and her tears seemed to be pouring out of her eyes like a waterfall. No matter what ANYONE said, this is worse than the Paris Hilton album.

Neji: Oh, great.

Lee: This is going to be a LOOOONG week...

_**END**_


	5. Chapter 4: Shino, Kiba, and Hinata!

_**KIBA, SHINO, HINATA!!!**_

Shino: Eh, I wouldnt have expected less.

Kiba: What?

Shino: Sasuke's screaming from the Hokage statues.

It was true, Sasuke was screaming like a little girl about zombies, white cars, and satan.

Hinata: Well, at least he's not making out with Naruto up there.

Shino: ...

Kiba: ...

Shino: ...

Kiba: ...

Shino: ...

Kiba: ...

Shino: What?!!?

Hinata: Sasuke's hot for Naruto! Didnt you guys already know?

Kiba: Uh... No.

Hinata: Good, 'cause I was just screwing around with you. I'm writing a Yaoi fanfic!!!

Shino: ...

Kiba: ...

Shino: ...

Kiba: ...

Shino: ...

Kiba: ...Hinata, are you high?

Hinata: Not on cocaine! Well, I'll see you guys later, I have a date with Mai-Kun (xXKanjiMonkeyXx)!

Mai-Kun: Damn straight.

Kiba: ...Okay...Why would Hinata go out with an english guy?

Shino: No idea. Hey, wanna start our band?

Kiba: Hells yeah!

_**END**_


	6. Chapter 5: Chouji and Shikamaru!

_**NARUTO'S WEEK OFF!!**_

_**CHAPTER 5: CHOUJI AND SHIKAMARU!**_

Shikamaru: ...Yawn. I wish there was something fun to do.

Chouji: I have cake! Cake is fun!!

Shikamaru: Man... I'm not sure if cake will satisfy me...eh...mabey if I wasn't such a sexist, lazy peice of #! I could get a girlfriend...

Chouji: Hang on, I have to finish my oat meal.

Shikamaru: It's like... everything I do... it gets shoved right in my face... Like when I tried to help Sasuke out of his K-Fee problem last week... It turned out to be annother screamer that I showed him... Now he's more scared than ever!

Chouji: Hang on, I have to finish my Chocolate Sunday.

Shikamaru: Plus... every movie on YouTube I think is going to be cool turns out to be a #ing YAOI!! I HATE YAOI!!

Couji: Hang on, I have to finsh my chicken wing.

Shikamaru: AND THATS ANNOTHER THING! _You_... Your always EATING!! Aren't Ninjas supposed to be thin so they can sneak around undetected? HOW DID YOU EVEN PASS THE ACADEMY? DOESN'T THE NINJA CODE SAY YOU HAVE TO BE PHYSICALLY FIT IN ORDER TO BE A NINJA? IT MAKES NO SENSE!! FATTIES CAN'T BE NINJAS!!

Chouji: ...

Shikamaru: ...

Chouji: ...I'm...

Shikamaru: ...

Chouji: _not._

Shikamaru: ...uh... Chouji?

Chouji: FAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!

Shikamaru

1995 - 2008

R. I. P.


	7. Chapter 6: Gaara and Kankuro!

Gaara: Hmmm...

Kankuro: Wha's wrawng Gaahra?

Gaara: I have the strangest feeling that I can use Sasuke's horror to kill him.

Kankuro: A'Yeah. He saw dat KFee thing Rawt'?

Gaara: Yeah... I can use it to kill Him.

Kankuro: How?

Gaara: ...I need some time to work that out.

Kankuro: Yah tock about killing him wit his scaredinessssssss but yah cant think a' somethin' to kill him how wit da freakish white car of the inferno land of R-Kelleh?

Gaara: ...Eh?

Kankuro: Fiddeh Cent alien mofo scared?

Gaara: Okay, what the fk are you talking about?

Kankuro: Eminem is tah coolioh issssssssnt the mofo saskey yoyoyo scared of waht cars?

Gaara: ...I'm pretty sure you have the term wrong.

Kankuro: Stock up on heroin from dah crack ferreh of yoyo mimz?

Gaara: yeah, you're high.

Kankuro: DO DAH SOUJA BOI WIT ME!

(Mindless rap jabber)

Gaara: ...yeah I'm leaving.

Kankuro: (Dancing like he's got a fire cracker up his ass and trying to shake it out)

(Two Hours Later)

Gaara: Hey Kankuro, I got an idea...

Kankuro is lying dead on the groung with a note crammed in his mouth. Gaara picks up the note...

Dear Gaara,

If you are reading this, then we shall pesume that Kankuro is dead. I heard him dancing to a rap song, so I killed him. Us metalheads don't play around. If you like rap, we'll kill you.

With love,

Temmari.

P.S. You're next for liking emocore.

Gaara: Well, great. (looks at watch and sighs.) Better cook that chicken in the fridge...

_**END!!**_


	8. Chapter 7: Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura!

*****Hooray For You Guys, another long ass bloody Wait.**

**Anyway, sorry bout that. I promise that I will update whenever I can, you won't have to wait annother 7 months either.**

**So, yeah. Here's chapter 7. This time we watch how Naruto and Sakura try to help Sasuke.*****

_**NARUTO'S WEEK OFF!!!**_

_**CHAPTER 7.**_

Naruto: Sasuke, it's been over a year, and you're still not over it.

Sasuke: I'M STILL FRIGHTENED!!!

Sakura: I think I know what'll cheer him up!

(Sakura flashes Sasuke, and Sasuke runs off screaming louder than ever.)

Naruto: I think we found what scares him even more than K-Fee.

Sakura: Oh, shuddap!! He obviously couldn't take my beautifulness!

Naruto: No, I don't think he could take your hideousness.

Sakura: Naruto... XO

Sakura: Why don't you understand that you're an ugly bitch! You don't bathe, shave, or wax, you don't brush your teeth, and you look like Star Jones!

Sakura: ...

Naruto: ...um, that one fat lady who...

Sakura: ...?

Naruto: Nevermind, the point is, you're fugly.

Sakura: ...is that what you think, Naruto?

Naruto: ...Um... Yes? 

Sakura: Well then, what about Ino?

Naruto: ...Who?

Sakura: Nevermind! I'm gonna go thayve.

Naruto: Um, shave.

Sakura: Whatever!

Naruto: Yeah, classic Naruto.

...

Did anyone else notice we've had more than a week off?

_ 

_**AND NOW FOR A SPECIAL NARUTO'S WEEK OFF SHORT:**_

_**ASUMA AND KURENAI!**_

Asuma: I'm Asuma!

Kurenai: And I'm Kurenai!

Asuma: And this is How we Met.

Kurenai: ...I'm a Transvestite!  
Asuma: You're perfect!

Kurenai: Wait, I don't wanna be a transvestite.

Asuma: A'right fine.

Kurenai: ...I'm a Lesbian!

Asuma: AHHHH!!! *Runs Away*

Kurenai: Wait, I don't wanna be a Lesbian.

Asuma: Yeah, I don't want you to be a lesbian. Okay! We're racing down the track! VROOM, VROOM!! We crash! Big Explosion, Big explosion, PSHH PSHH!!!

Kurenai: Meet.

Asuma: Meet.

Kurenai: Meet.

Asuma: Meet. *dies*

_**END!!!**_


End file.
